Honesty in the Void

I finished this book over a month ago, and just have my snarky notes and memory of what happened (I could read out again, sure, but I kinda don’t want to. Not because it was bad, but because I’ve moved on).

So, I’ll see about putting all of my notes for the rest of the book into this one last post and focus on the other 5 books I’m reading concurrently (makes me think of a prison sentence, concurrent vs consecutive – don’t be surprised that this weirdo loves crime dramas and court shows!)

This is the book that got me thinking about starting a blog. I would’ve written this chapter by chapter like I’ve been doing, but since I read it BB (Before Blog), I don’t have the “raw footage” to do so now. Sooooooo…

First of all: this book had ingredients. Real ones. It just kept using them wrong.

We start with shadow daddy mystery vibes. Cool. Love that. Except…what does he actually look like? Is he a 2D shadow? A 3D silhouette? A humanoid fog? Does he have lips? A mouth? Hair?? Apparently yes to hair. Surprise! Page 200 reveal: he has hair. Casual.

Early on, it’s all explicit, but not sexy. It’s giving anatomy checklist without sensuality. Spiky. Massive. Seven feet tall. Somehow bending like an eldritch gymnast while also kissing her collarbone and doing other acrobatics that would require at least three spines and a yoga certification.

And I’m just sitting there like: Okay but physically HOW???

If he’s shadow, how is she biting his lip hard enough to make him bleed?
If he’s cold, does he feel her warmth?
If tendrils rip clothing, do they also…not scrape skin?
If he solidifies when aroused, what part solidifies first?

Pick a ruleset. Commit.

Then there’s the emotional pacing. It keeps speedrunning tropes:
•Hate sex
•Fate bond
•Magical contract
•Artifact of doom
•Sacrifice
•Resurrection
•New cosmic purpose
All before I’ve had time to feel anything.

Deaths undo themselves in the next chapter. Sacrifices reverse immediately. Artifacts appear, disappear, get named dramatically 300 pages later like we were supposed to remember them. “The Soul-Still” shows up like it’s been important all along. Ma’am. You mentioned it once.

The villain? Spectator energy. Mustache-twirling commentary. He’s The Collector, and he collects people he’s “Crystalized,” and my brain immediately went to Drag Queen, Kennedy Davenport. More drag persona than terror. I cannot unhear:

“After a night of hookin’…I crystalized.”
Which, frankly, is not the tone we were going for.

And the stakes never stick. Ever.
•Portal collapsing? Fixed.
•Shredded void body? Reassembled.
•Lost arm? Regrown.
•Human woman collapsing dramatically? Carried bridal-style, naturally.
Because of course.

It’s not emotional cotton candy.
It’s emotional La Croix. (Where my rating systems were conceived).

A vapor remembrance of something that might once have resembled feeling.

But here’s the thing.
Halfway through? One chapter slowed down.
They shared music and wine from a dead world.
He told stories about a baby mood-feather chicken that imprinted on him and lived forty years.
He buried it in a garden where flowers bloom backward from seed to blossom and back again.
He admitted he had to learn how to laugh.
And suddenly? There was something there.
No physics gymnastics. No spiky anatomy Olympics. No convenient artifact detonations. Just atmosphere. Scale. Loneliness. Beauty.
That chapter felt like the book I thought I was buying. Dark Beauty and the Beast. Ancient monster who learned softness. Intimacy built on quiet.

And then the very next chapter?
Right back to shadow tentacle Cirque du Soleil.

Love at first sight. Instant mind-reading bond. Cosmic paradox bug hunters feared in 19 dimensions.
New purpose unlocked. Because apparently the only thing more powerful than void magic is plot convenience.

By the end, they’re reorganizing libraries, getting magic tattoos that say “I love her” in multiple languages, and hunting impossibility-eating bugs because their relationship created a paradox.
Sure. Why not?

The finale with Crystal Pimp Collector was anticlimactic to say the least. Barely a fight, and remember the Soul Cube? Yeah, neither did I, Lame Lady (I can’t remember her name, FMC), grabs it, smashes it, frees all the crystalized statues, and reality implodes. But Void Dude saves her because, of course he does.

He dissolves into dimensions, she’s all sad and angry (she’s always angry)…

She mourns him, flops herself into his dissolving body because bewbs are healing, I guess, especially since hers can exist in 27.9 dimensions at the same time, so magic?

And the final lines try so hard to be epic and just land like:

That’s the whole book.

Beautiful idea. Inconsistent execution. Great potential. Rushed payoff. Too much explicit, not enough intimacy. Too many cosmic stakes, not enough grounded feeling. It could’ve and should’ve been 50% longer with more substance.

It wasn’t terrible. It just wasn’t earned.
And honestly?
The one chapter that worked proved the author can write something mythic and tender. Which somehow makes the rest more frustrating.

Anyway…
Crystal Pimp will live rent-free in my head forever.

I have a final rating for Bought by the Void Walker:

Overall Pizza Slice Rating?

Eh, a conservative 4/8 slices. It was meh, not bad, not good.

🍕🍕🍕🍕❌❌❌❌

Cover Court Judgment?

Click or Dick, I mean, Flick? 👍👎

I clicked, so the cover did its job. 👍

Emotional Impact?

•La Croix

Spice Level?

•Technically Venus, but I feel like it’s more Habanero

Horror/Scare Factor?

•Eh, a Cozy Blanket

Suspense/Thriller Scale?

•Raised Eyebrow

Humor Scale?

•Crickets

Angst/Emotional Damage?

•Fine

Addictability? (I’m finding myself wanting to read the whole Monster Bride collection)

•McDonald’s

Cheese Cringe Scale?

•A blend of Mac & Cheese Powder and Cheese Whiz

Gore Scale?

•Cut but technically Shot in the Side

Pie Scale?

•Apple Pie trying to be Caramel Apple Crumble á la mode

Chocolate Scale?

•Milk Chocolate cosplaying as Semi-Sweet or darker

I have another book in that series to start in my next batch of read-throughs, but it’ll have to wait until I’m done with the other 5 I’m currently reading.

If you’re interested in Bought by the Void Walker, here’s a link (no affiliations, no sponsorships, nothing, just the hyperlink), here is where I bought my copy. Judge for yourselves 😊

SnS 🌹💀📜🥤