So, a LionWolfElk (LWE) was what huffed and puffed and blew the house down. I’m assuming by the fact it roared, “MURDERERS” that this is a faerie whose bro or sis or lover or whatever was Wolfasaurus-rex that Cheese killed in the first chapter. If only her sisters weren’t so useless, they’d have been able to bring back the carcass of Wolfasaurus-rex and this might not have happened.
Apparently, faeries can’t lie. Why?
“This was all a nightmare, and I’d awaken in a moment beside the fire, exhausted from my day at the market and my afternoon with Isaac.” Groan!
This was going so well until that last little bit. I literally rolled my eyes at the “and my afternoon with Isaac.” Again, no mention of him being unfaithful with her to his betrothed. I abhor cheating. Hate it. And I hate that Cheese is seemingly totally fine with being the one Isaac is cheating with. That’s just gross. My respect (the tiny, itty-bitty, miniscule amount for her that I barely La Croix whispered to have) is completely gone now.
Honestly? Only by the sheer La Croix taste of curiosity that I have towards LWE will I continue this chapter.
I’m sure I’m not the audience for this book. I know SO many other people adore SJM. This is the last chance, honestly, before I put it down for a good long while because it’s just not cutting it for my own personal preferences and standards I have for books. I’m not gonna waste my time on something that I feel such a visceral disrespect for the FMC. Like the Void Walker FMC was annoying, sure, but I didn’t find her disrespectful in the way Cheese has.
Okay, steam released from my ears, I’ll try and finish the chapter. I should probably write a blog post of my Nope Tropes and hyperlink, so I don’t look like I’m throwing a tantrum over nothing.
She’s standing up to LWE and admitting she killed Wolfasaurus-rex. So, there’s that. Some integrity, I guess. Or she’s just stupid or audacious.
Again, faeries can’t lie. Which, I’m putting aside as extra convenient for plot purposes and not because it’s actually a thing, but I vaguely remember that it’s a thing in other fandoms, too, maybe. Probably. I don’t know. Whatever.
I knew it was coming, because I have a brain that sensed the clear bright neon lights waving at the foreshadowing, that Cheese would be taken to Hyrule instead of killed, yet, I still rolled my eyes when LWE said I keel you or I snatch you!
And oh how very generous of him to give her the choice to either die or fly. Le sigh. And even more generous that LWE has lands she could live on…me rolling my eyes again.
For the third time, faeries can’t lie. We get it…
And LWE speaking like old Pride and Prejudice speak that feels oh so avast, ye dare to halt my vengeance against thee??? Like puh-lease…that sort of dialogue feels amateurish. First time authors tend to write dialogue overly proper. Not sure why. Not dissing, merely observing. With SJM having many books out, surely she’d be more prolific in her dialogue. Oh great…now she’s got me talking like that! Ugh!
Also, side note, Cheese’s Father tells her to take the bargain yet begs LWE to spare Cheese because she’s the only useful one. He doesn’t say it outright, but it’s clearly what he means. Plus, how noble, right? Why not offer himself up? In Cheese’s place? They’re all practically going to starve to death without her anyways.
Oh geez…please don’t tell me we have a Beauty and the Beast retelling, and Mr. LionWolfElk has a human form that’s all hot and muscles, tall and brooding, and she’s his prisoner, and they fall for each other…again, puh-lease!!
And to end with her Father saying she was too good for them? And that if she somehow got away to never come back? Yikes….
Begrudgingly, here’s the current rating:
•La Croix
•Peppered Jalapeños 🙄
•Cozy Blanket
•Snooze Button
•Crickets
•Fine
•Burger King
•Maggot Cheese
•Bruise
•Apple Pie
•White Chocolate self-tanning to try and be Milk Chocolate
SnS 🌹💀📜🥤
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