ACOTAR Chapter 5 Thoughts

Just started the chapter, and I’m already like, oh, how convenient. That shows you how much I actually enjoy this book. I’m only really reading it now because several people told me that I need to finish it for them because they think my reactions are hilarious. So, here I am. I’ll get through it. Hopefully, it gets better.

Anyways, Cheese is following LionWolfElk until they come across a pure white horse that’s all obedient to LWE. And it’s been waiting patiently for their arrival, and it has a saddle conveniently already on it for Cheese. Like this was planned!
This doesn’t feel magical to me. This feels staged and a tad bit lazy as far as writing goes. No shade.
Like, Mo Heart says, “Facts are facts!”
(Insert Mo Heart here)

She can conveniently forget that killing a faerie demands retribution, but she can remember that faeries can’t take humans as slaves? Oh, how nice for Cheese.

Was this story just pantsed, and we’re expected to be just roll with it? Like, oh yeah, I meant this all along!
I would’ve even appreciated the treaty written as a prologue or something…that way we could be like, ‘No Cheese! Don’t kill Wolfasaurus-rex! NooOOOoooOOOooooOOOooo!”

Cheese exposition dumping on us about how vast the faerie lands are. Apparently some territories are so big that they have kings and queens, which makes my brain wander to the lip sync battle between Jinkx Monsoon and Trinity the Tuck during RuPaul’s Dragrace All-Stars 7 to a song named Kings and Queens by what’s-her-face? (Ava Max), and even more specifically to the camera pan over to Yvie Oddly as she’s watching them and singing along from the sidelines. Shows my engagement. I’m trying….promise lol.

Gonna veer off on a small tangent. Love me some fun drag artistry.

I love the makeup, the dresses, the silliness, the camp, and sometimes the drama.
If you’ve read my Nope Tropes, you already know overly sexual content isn’t really my thing. Drag can lean hyper-sexual sometimes—nothing wrong with that, just not my preference.
In this clip, Trinity (blonde bombshell) goes for the playful, over-the-top route, booty jiggle, the whole moment. That’s her brand. No tea, no shade.

But Yvie Oddly? That curled lip, that stare? That does something.
There’s this primal, almost feral longing in it. That quiet intensity? That’s what gets me.
You don’t have to be explicit to be sexy.

Now, where was I?

Oh! Right, ACOTAR…

So, according to my sister and my friend who have read this book, Maas tends to leave interesting moments off the page and skip ahead to less memorable things. Like this little section. She was waffling on about how LWE was not responding to her questions like, “hey, my dude, doth thou hast a name?”

And scene break to morning? Wtf?
I get that LWE was annoyed with her and didn’t want to talk, so he magic zapped her to sleep, but still…why not finish the exposition dump? Why not write out the awkward interactions? The whole chapter so far was doing that…? And it took two days to reach Hyrule’s gate? Was she asleep the whole time??? I’d be starving! And I’m left, again, ending the chapter with a ‘that’s it?’ face. Le sigh.

I don’t know what I want or what I’m expecting from this book anymore. It’s sometimes intriguing, mostly boring, and 5/8ths irritating. The math ain’t matching, but whatever. I’ll finish this book, but unless someone tells me or suggests otherwise, I probably won’t read anymore past this book.

Current rating?

•Water, actually Sparkling Water if slight annoyance counts…

•Air

•Cozy Blanket

•Snooze Button

•Crickets

•Fine

•Burger King Fries

•Cheese Whiz

•Healthy

•Apple Pie crumbs left by someone else

•White Chocolate

•Tilapia Fillet

SnS 🌹💀📜🥤